Questions are a great way to identify potential threats or situations that might cause conflict in the future. These 40 critical questions to ask a groom before marriage are a great way to start that conversation.
Asking your future husband these questions will help you establish trust, understand worldviews, beliefs, background, and help you understand why he does what he does.
As you start preparing yourself to be a future wife, it’s important to know what you’re getting yourself in. Assuming that you have already gone through premarital counseling if you haven’t here is the best place to start.
Are you in a hurry check out these three books that we highly recommend:
- Preparing for Marriage Couples Guide
- Preparing for Marriage Leaders Guide
- The Meaning of Marriage-Timothy Keller
- Devotions for Engaged Couples- Gary Thomas
After conducting several premarital counseling sessions we have compiled our top questions to ask a groom before marriage. Most of the issues addressed by these questions are among the top reasons for conflict in many marriages today. That is the reason why we suggest you talk about these things way before marriage.
Note: Don’t use these questions to interrogate your fiance, use them to start a healthy conversation that will help both of you move forward with trust.
Questions to ask a groom before marriage include;
Questions to establish trust With Your Fiance
Trust is one of the most critical factors that contribute to a happy and satisfying marriage. When you ask your future husband these questions; you allow them to share their deepest secrets, fears, hopes, and insecurities. With this level of vulnerability, the two of you will establish a trust bond that will help you in the future. Remember to ask him these questions when both of you are relaxed and in a good mood.
- Do you have any secrets that you haven’t shared with me?
- Is there any person or persons you’re connected to emotionally?
- What attracted you to me?
- What’s your idea of a perfect family?
- Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? How and why did it end?
- In case we can’t have children, what would you do?
- How do you define cheating? At what point does it start?
- How do you handle pressure from other people? Pressure from family, friends, and co-workers?
- Do you have any debt whatsoever? Student loans, friends loans, bank loans, mortgages, etc?
- Do you know when I am upset?
In case of previous problems with infidelity read this 9 Signs A Cheating Spouse May Become Faithful Again
Remember, the goal is not to interrogate but rather to have a meaningful conversation. As you have these conversations, you will realize quickly, that your partner views life through a different lens. Both of you must have a conversation around worldview. Here are some questions to ask to identify things that shape your partner’s worldview.
Questions to identify Your Fiances worldviews
Our past and our beliefs shape the way we view the world. Our worldview affects the way we view problems, solve the problem, make decisions, and even the way we treat our partners. Understanding someone’s worldview will help you know how to deal with them.
Here are some questions to ask your fiance to understand how they view the world.
- What’s your take on wives submitting?
- What do you think about women in general?
- What’s your definition of a good life?
- Who should pay the bills once we are married?
- What’s your idea of a perfect wife?
- What’s the role of a husband in a marriage?
- Are there things in marriage you expect me to do, that might cause conflict if I don’t?
- What’s your take on drugs and alcohol?
- Let’s talk about tatoos. What’s your view on tattoos?
- What’s your take on sharing passwords and social media login credentials?
Once you have identified how someone thinks and the things that influence their worldview. The next step is to find out if the person has accountability and what they think about the issue of accountability.
Questions to identify If Your Fiance Has Accountability
Accountability is something that many couples don’t have. In our experience with couples both married and unmarried that has been the case. We have found out that many couples try to find accountability after having an unresolved conflict or fall out with their partner. In short, they try to find accountability when it’s too late. We suggest to young couples way before marriage to find accountability and grow in that relationship into marriage.
Here are some questions to ask your future husband that will help both of you find and grow meaningful accountability friendships.
- In case of a conflict between us, what should be our next steps in solving the problem?
- What’s your view on therapy and counseling?
- Who is your accountability person? How are you guys holding each other accountable?
- What’s your opinion on mentor couples or mentorship in general?
- How far is too far with your relationship with your friends, co-workers, and family?
- Have you ever had an opportunity to cheat? What did you do?
- Would you have a problem if I share with my siblings or my best friend about our relationship?
- How do you spend your money and how do you think we should spend our money once married? Read more about finances here.
- What’s your take on joint accounts? Read more here.
- Who is your best friend/s?
Another area of conflict for many couples is in the areas of religion and religious views. Here are some questions to ask your future husband to identify what they believe and how it influences their life.
Questions that address issues with religion
We all have a way of making decisions. Most of our approach is based majorly on what we believe. For Christian, we make decisions based on the Bible and what it recommends. If you are about to marry someone. You must understand what they believe and how seriously they take that connection.
Here are some of the main questions you can ask your partner to figure out how serious they are with religion.
- What’s your take on religion?
- Do you believe in the Bible?
- How serious is the church for you?
- When we get children, are we going to name them religiously?
- Do you believe in monogamy?
- The Bible says Wives to submit to their husbands, what’s your take on submission?
- What’s the goal of marriage according to you?
- Do you believe God initiated marriage?
- When we get married who should move churches?
- What’s your view on tithing?
These are some of the questions we suggest couples discuss before tying the not. Let us know in the comment what you think. For couples in their second marriage, we suggest this article here “premarital counseling for second marriage“.
Thank you for reading our 40 questions to ask a groom before marriage, We wish you all the best in your future marriage. Cheers!!!