Breakups are hard, and the feelings that come with them only make it worse. You might feel like you’re dying inside and the world is ending, but it’s not.
The worst part of a relationship ending is not knowing how to react. In fact, there are 7 different stages of breakup you go through before you get over your ex.
This guide will help you survive your breakup and come out stronger than before. We’ll teach you how to move on from a relationship without losing yourself in the process, how to deal with guilt and anger, what steps need to be taken after a breakup, and much more useful information about breakups.
The stages of a breakup are stages that one goes through in order to cope with the end of a relationship.
There are many stages that encompass a break-up, but they are not always in order or simultaneous. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, stress, and recovery. The stages can also be seen as stages of grieving when someone loses someone or something close to them.
Here are the 7 stages of break explained in detail.
Stage One : Denial:
It is not always easy to accept the end of a relationship and it can take some time before we come to grips with the fact that the relationship is over. When one goes through any break up, denial is usually the first stage.
This stage is characterized by one’s inability to admit to themselves that they are no longer in a relationship. On an emotional level, denial can manifest as a refusal to accept what has happened. On an intellectual level, denial may present itself as a refusal to admit that one’s life has changed or that there is any need for change.
Oftentimes, people go back and forth between stages of break up. Denial may last only until the full extent of reality sets in or it may last until the stages of break up are completed before acceptance takes place.
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Tips to managing pain in this stage of denial
- Find a friend to talk to, someone who knew about your relationship and can help you through. What helped me was writing a list of the good times and the bad times in a relationship, this really helped me realize that things were better before and I’m finally ready to move on from my ex.
- Another thing to do when in denial is just to do something, anything. Just go out and have some fun with friends or family, this will help you finally see what you need to move on from your ex.
Stage Two: Anger
Once denial has stopped, anger can occur. During this stage, one may become enraged at their former partner because they wish that things could go back to how they used to be or were in the beginning stages of their relationship.
Anger is a very common reaction to break up and it is often the easiest stage to recognize.
This stage may last until one has managed to get past their anger or they exit the stages of breakup on their own, usually after an outburst. It can also be helpful for people in this stage to talk about their feelings with another person, such as a friend, family member, and in some cases a professional counselor. It is highly recommended that you do this because otherwise, in rare instances, there are negative emotions that may come up again when you find yourself feeling lonely or undesirable.
Tips to manage anger during a breakup
Anger can be a lot more damaging than just an outburst, so here are some tips to manage your anger. Anger is any action that harms someone else, either physically or emotionally, and it’s considered wrong in many societies.
- First of all, express the anger instead of holding it in. Try screaming into a pillow if you have to.
- Another tip is to change the situation that triggers your anger. For example, if you feel angry when you see the person on social media, don’t go on social media sites because this will only make things worse for you.
- Talk to a friend or professional counselor about your anger, what’s helped me the most was talking to my friends about these things.
Stage Three: Bargaining
Bargaining is another common stage of a breakup, and it occurs when one begins to try and convince the partner to return in some way. This can include promising drastic changes or even threatening dramatic actions in order for their former partner to stay in the relationship.
During this stage, people may begin to fantasize about what their life would be like if they were still with their former partner and will try anything they can think of to get them back. This is also a stage where many people turn to friends or family members for advice on how to keep their ex-partner in their life.
Stage Four: Depression
Depression is another very common stage of break up and it can be experienced as a long, deep sadness that lingers over time. This state often accompanies feelings of loneliness, emptiness, rejection, anxiety, helplessness, and irritability.
This stage usually occurs after one has realized that their former partner is not coming back and it is characterized by a sad, wistful mood that can continue to linger for some time.
The stage of depression may last until the person has successfully gotten past this stage or they are able to leave the stages of breakup on their own without professional help. This usually occurs after several weeks have passed.
Tips to manage depression during a breakup
- During this stage, it is best to avoid being alone. It’s better if you have family or friends that are there for you during these times.
- You can also try to have an honest conversation with your former partner to help them understand what they did wrong during the relationship and make amends before moving on. This may be one of the most helpful things you can do during this stage.
- You may also find it helpful to keep a journal or diary of your feelings, thoughts, and experiences surrounding the breakup. This will help you feel that you are not alone in the breakup process. It’s with us together versus being alone in these situations.
- Prayer is an important part of surviving the breakup period. Try talking to friends about how you are feeling, go to church or other religious meetings, or talk with a pastor, professional counselor, or therapist.
Stage Five: Acceptance
This stage of a breakup is also one of the most difficult stages to reach because it requires one to fully accept that their former partner will not be coming back. During this stage, people may begin to feel relief and they are able to focus on themselves rather than their former partner.
People experiencing this stage may also feel lighter, happier, and begin to become more active.
Stage Six: Stress
This is also known as the stage of all stages because it can be difficult for people to get past this part of the breakup process. This is usually experienced as a feeling of unrest or irritability due to increased demands on one’s time and energy.
During the stage of stress, one may feel confused about their future and what they are supposed to do without their former partner, which may cause them to become easily overwhelmed.
It is advised that people experiencing this stage take extra good care of themselves, by eating right and getting plenty of sleep. It is also important for people in this stage to get out of the house and socialize with friends or family members, but again, be careful not to overdo it.
Stage Seven: Recovery
The final stage of a breakup is the stage of recovery where one begins to feel like they are getting back to normal and that their life is returning to normal. This includes feelings such as getting back into social activities and focusing on daily living rather than dwelling on what happened in the past.
This is the final stage of breakup and it marks when one begins to regain control of their life after a difficult loss, especially in something that was long-term or that has had an emotional impact on them.
The recovery stage may last anywhere from several months to several years and it is a gradual process that includes reconnecting with oneself and moving forward.
While there are no set time limits or order for the stages of a breakup, these are the seven most common stages of breakup that occur when one experiences a break-up from a long-term relationship. It is never easy to go through this process but the seven stages of breakup do get easier to manage with time.
Note: The seven stages of breakup can be experienced at different times and in different orders depending on the person going through the process, but it is important to know that these stages are a natural part of life after a break up and will pass as time goes. It may take several weeks, months, or even years for one to go through the stages of breakup but in the end, it will be worth it.
7 Proven Strategies to Overcoming Break Up Pain
Here are some tips for getting through this tough time in your life
1. Stay busy. If you feel like you have a lot of free time, fill it up with other things instead of dwelling on your breakup. There are many ways to stay busy. Maybe do some spring cleaning in your apartment or start a new project that keeps your hands and mind occupied.
2. Don’t give up on dating because of the one who broke your heart. Many people don’t want to date because they’re afraid they’ll end up feeling the same way as they did when their last relationship ended, but waiting too long can only intensify the pain so give it a chance and find someone you might really connect with.
3. Spend time with friends or family members who will keep you from wallowing in sadness so much.
4. Disappointing your former partner by moving on too quickly is not the goal, but it’s okay to start feeling a little better every day and focusing on yourself more.
5. Read self-help books or go see a counselor if you are having trouble coping with the breakup. It may help to talk about your feelings with someone you trust.
7. Remember that time heals all wounds so the only thing to do is avoid dwelling on how bad you feel right now and have patience with yourself as you go through these stages of breakup. The pain will get less intense every day until one day, you’ll wake up finally feeling better. Be patient because it takes time for these stages of breakup to get easier.
People are allowed to feel however they want when it comes to their heartbreak, but by avoiding isolation and spending time with people who care about you, the seven stages of breakup will fade faster than if you were left alone to deal with everything on your own.
It’s okay to take your time getting over your breakup, but it is important to realize that everyone eventually moves on and the seven stages of break up will get easier every day until you do.
To anyone who has recently experienced a difficult loss or ended a long-term relationship, let us know in the comment how you overcome the pain or how your copping with it.
Good luck with your love adventure. Cheers