Establishing healthy boundaries in relationships can be difficult, but it’s crucial for the health and well-being of both partners. By understanding and respecting your partner’s boundaries, you’re establishing trust and respect that can help carry your relationship through any obstacle. In this blog post I will share my top 8 best healthy boundaries in relationship that will strategically help you build a long lasting relationship with your partner.
We all want to have relationships that are fulfilling, happy, and healthy. Yet many of us struggle to find the right balance between being assertive and being considerate. Establishing boundaries is an important step in creating a healthy relationship with your partner and for yourself. Healthy boundaries set limits on what you will accept from your partner while still maintaining respect for their needs.
Top 3 recommended books on this topic
- Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud [ When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life]
- Emotionally Healthy Relationships by Peter Scazzero [Discipleship that Deeply Changes Your Relationship]
- The Seven Secrets to Healthy Relationships by Don Miguel Ruiz [Happy Relationships]
Before we talk about how to establish them, let’s first understand why they’re so crucial in any type of relationship-especially romantic ones.
Boundaries help protect not only our physical health but also our emotional, mental, social, and financial health (not to mention self-respect).
When people feel respected by the other person in their life it fosters trust which is an important foundation for any relationship. Healthy boundaries allow us to live more authentically, which is crucial in all relationships. Chad A. Buck, PhD says “When boundaries are set limits are clear and decisive, yet reasonable”
4 things to keep in mind when establishing healthy boundaries.
There are common challenges couples face when setting healthy boundaries with each other. As social creatures, we’re conditioned to avoid conflict and confrontation at all costs.We want to please the people we love.
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This can often lead to couples sacrificing their own needs in order to avoid upsetting their partner. Healthy boundaries help us maintain our own sense of identity within the relationship while still being considerate of our partner’s feelings and needs.
- Healthy boundaries should be developed together, not imposed unilaterally. Read this for more in-depth guide 5 Steps to communicate boundaries.
- Healthy boundaries can change and fluctuate throughout a relationship depending on the needs of both partners and the changing nature of the relationship itself. We all have different needs and wants at different times. Intimate relationships require us to compromise; however, we need to make sure we’re compromising with a clear understanding of what our personal boundaries are.
- Healthy boundaries protect your physical, emotional, mental, social, and financial health-not to mention your self-respect. Every person deserves the right to their own needs and wants. Healthy boundaries help both partners develop self-respect for each other as well as respect for the relationship itself.
- Healthy boundaries must be communicated effectively to your partner if they’re going to be effective. This can often be difficult, but it’s crucial that both partners are on the same page when it comes to what is and isn’t acceptable in the relationship.
Top 8 Examples of boundaries in relationships
Let me share with you some areas you should consider having boundaries.
- Physical: You should feel free to say no to any type of physical contact you don’t want, whether it’s kissing, touching, or intercourse. We all have the right to our own bodies and should not be made to feel uncomfortable by our partners.
- Emotional: You should never have to put on an act for your partner. If you’re not feeling happy, they should accept that without question. Likewise, you should be supportive and understanding of your partner’s emotional state, even if it’s something you don’t agree with.
- Mental: You should never feel obligated to discuss things with your partner that you’re not comfortable discussing. This includes anything from your family or personal life to your sex life. You have a right to your own privacy.
- Social: Just as you have the right to your own privacy, you also have the right to your own social life. This includes who you spend time with and what activities you participate in. Your partner should not dictate who you can and cannot associate with.
- Financial: You should feel free to discuss any financial decisions with your partner. You should have a clear understanding of how both partners are contributing financially before moving forward with any major decisions, such as the purchase of an expensive item together or a joint investment.
- Self-Respect: Healthy boundaries help you maintain your own sense of identity within the relationship while still being considerate of your partner’s feelings and needs. You should never have to sacrifice your own self-respect in order to maintain the relationship.
- Personal space: This is probably the most commonly violated boundary in relationships. We need to have time and space alone to decompress and rejuvenate. It’s important to set limits on how much physical and emotional space we’re willing to share with our partners.
- Time together/time apart: Just as we need personal space to rejuvenate, we also need time with our partners to relax and recharge. Healthy relationships require both types of space.
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