Choosing whether to do premarital counseling before or after engagement is a personal decision. However, it is important to note that there are pros and cons for both choices!
In today’s day and age, many couples choose to do premarital counseling before they get engaged. One of the main reasons for this is because people are living together before marriage much more often than before. But which is the best approach?
Let’s start with before engagement.
Are you in a hurry check out these three books that we highly recommend.
- Preparing for Marriage Couples Guide
- Preparing for Marriage Leaders Guide
- The Meaning of Marriage-Timothy Keller
- Devotions for Engaged Couples- Gary Thomas
Not sure where to start with premarital counseling conversation, start here
Premarital counseling before the engagement:
Engagement is a significant step before marriage, so it’s important to take the time before engagement to think about what you want in a partner and how you can make your relationship work.
The first stages of premarital counseling before engagement are often focused on compatibility, commitment, and relationship skills. This way both partners know exactly where they stand with each other before jumping into wedlock. In my opinion, these are the two most important aspects before deciding to get engaged. See more premarital counseling sessions here.
When should you start premarital read here to learn more?
|A couple will have enough time to reflect on their relationship without the pressure of coming up with a wedding date.||A lot of people don’t feel comfortable with the idea of spending time discussing their intimate lives before they get engaged.|
|If things don’t work out breaking off a relationship will not carry the same social or emotional consequences as it would in ending an engagement.||It can be difficult to find the time when your partner is available before you’re engaged.|
|Counseling allows couples to create boundaries together and set expectations for each other||Some people feel like their lives have already been planned out and think it would be a waste of time to go through with premarital counseling before getting engaged.|
|You will be able to identify and discuss any potential concerns that you may have about the relationship|
|Premarital counselling before the engagement can be a reality check|
Before engaging, you may be able to fix your personal issues before tying the knot. If struggling with something now- like an addiction–it could greatly affect your spouse later on down the road if not addressed beforehand. Your partner deserves all of your attention before committing yourself fully and completely.
Doing premarital counseling before engagement will give you enough time to work on those.
Premarital Counseling After Engagement
After the engagement, couples are likely to have already had conversations about their expectations before marriage. They are also more likely to be financially ready because many of them have an established career and savings by now. Let’s look at some benefits of doing premarital counseling after engagement.
How much should you have saved before deciding to get married read more here?
|More likely to be financially ready||Pressure for the wedding|
|Many couples feel less pressure or stress in jointly considering premarital counseling. Because it is a decision they made together, rather than against each other.||There is not enough time to work on big issues such as addictions.|
|Couples are more likely to be open with each other before they’re married.||After engagement couples may feel like they are already committed to one another before the premarital counseling has even started. This could lead couples into a false sense of safety and security before marriage which may not be good for their relationship in the future!|
|Some people might feel like it would work well to wait before going through premarital counseling until after their engagement so as not to put any undue responsibility on partners before there is a commitment between them.|
In conclusion, it is best to discuss which premarital counseling before or after an engagement is best for your relationship with your partner. You should weigh both the pros and cons of each method, as well.
Everyone has their own preferences! So before you commit to one option over the other, make sure to discuss it with your partner and be open about what might work best for each of you individually before making a final decision. Good luck on whatever path you choose!
And that’s all for today folks- thanks so much for reading! Remember we have a lot of these articles to help you prepare well and make the best out of premarital counseling. Check here for more helpful premarital counseling articles.