No one wants to be in a boring premarital counseling program. These premarital activities and a list of premarital counseling games are designed to break the ice and allow for an effective premarital counseling session.
Let’s face it, premarital counseling isn’t as much fun as the wedding itself. But any couple who wants to get married will want to make sure they are going to last. This list of premarital activities is intended to give you and your fiancé some tools that help talk about sensitive issues ahead of time before you start down the road of marriage together.
Here are the best resources that go hand in hand with this guide. (Available on Amazon- We recommend Kindle as the best way to read books-Start a 30-day free trial here)
- Preparing for Marriage Couples Guide
- Preparing for Marriage Leaders Guide
- The Meaning of Marriage-Timothy Keller
- Devotions for Engaged Couples- Gary Thomas
Not sure where to start with a premarital counseling conversation, start here or start a Happily Ever After Wedding registry, find inspiration & ideas on Amazon.
Some people thrive on open communication; Other couples need these questions asked before they can even think about getting married. Using this list during premarital counseling sessions may just become one of your favorites!
Related Post: Tips to Prepare for a Successful Marriage [A Comprehensive Guide]
Just print out this entire article (or at least portions, if you don’t want to give all the answers away) and have it on hand for a reference. Not every couple will like all 50 games, so find one or two that seem right for your situation (plus they are numbered, so if there are only 3 things you use, just skip #4-#50 for example).
I suggest printing off this entire list of premarital counseling games!
- It’s a great time to tell each other stories that relate to us getting married – but don’t just tell me the story, re-tell it as if I were reading or listening to it for the first time!
- Tell your spouse why you love them. This can be done with or without using physical touch. (If you use touch, try something different from what you normally do!)
- Sing a song. Not just any song, but one that has special meaning on your relationship.
- Memorize and recite this poem ” You came along once in my life when i needed your smile more than air.” by Kees van gogh
- Make up a dance out of any silly thing – Sumo Wrestling, Snooty Spring Break, and so on…
- If you had a chance to have one wish come true for your spouse what would it be?
- If time wasn’t an issue, how would you spend the day with me (include a pic)? Be as detailed as possible!
- What is my favorite memory of us together? Why do you think it’s my favorite memory?
- Tell me something that I don’t know about you. Not just any piece of information , but something deep from your heart or a childhood secret.
- How did we meet? (Or if we didn’t meet – how else might we have met?)
- Describe yourself in one sentence.
- Tell me about your family. (knowing information is key to understanding a person’s feeling and thus avoiding conflicts)
- Tell me something that you will never tell anyone else?
- On what occasion do you feel most loved by the other person? Whoa! That was deep! Why do you think that happens then and not at other times?
- How can we show our love for each other in public, so people will ask “What’s going on between those two?”
- What’s my favorite hobby or interest? If we were married I would want to spend time with you on this activity – how could we make it happen even more often than it does now?
- How would you like to be treated by me?
- What do I do for a living, and what was your first impression of my work environment (or what have you learned since then)? #19 If we had more time together, how could we use it wisely toward our relationship?
- Is there anything that is currently annoying you about the other person? Use this as an opportunity to set things straight. Begin with “I want to tell you something that’s been bothering me. …”. This creates a safe environment for discussing sensitive issues without defensiveness or accusations. The purpose of premarital counseling games is not to go through life pointing out all the flaws in your spouse while avoiding your own – but rather to learn how to overcome obstacles together constructively.
- What do I like about your (hair, face, eyes, lips, body)?
- Make a list of all the qualities you respect and admire in me.
- Tell me something that can only be known between us? If we hadn’t made this agreement with each other to share everything would you have told me this? Why or why not?
- What are some things YOU want from our relationship? This game helps both partners define their ideal relationship and how it can be achieved . It also fosters an emotional closeness and sense of partnership through mutual understanding . Gives them a feeling of hope that the future will be as they dreamt it would – before marriage.
- Make a list of all of the things you love about me – and ask me if I agree with your list or not.
- When was the last time we did something together that really made us laugh? What is ridiculous about it? How can we do something like that again sometime soon?
- Name three positive characteristics you see in me, two negative ones that drive you crazy , and one thing you’d like to change about me (without being judgmental). You should also name why this bothers you so much. This game helps couples eliminate irritating habits while at the same time avoiding nasty arguments over “little things”. It’s easy to get annoyed at small things if we forget to take the big picture into account .
- If you could have anything in the world for free (money is not an issue; you must be realistic) what would it be and why? This game helps couples find out their priorities in life. Do they want money, luxury cars, or a big house – or do they actually prefer to save time, spend more time with each other, travel around the world together etc. The answers can help them prioritize their values and define their dreams as a couple .
- What was my best romantic moment with you? How did we make that happen again? Especially good if your partner doesn’t remember it at all!
- Make two lists of things that usually annoy us about one another: 1) when I am not doing that thing 2) when you are not doing that thing. Then compare the two lists to find out how many things bother each of us equally and which things annoy only one partner more than the other (this is a chance for both sides to be heard; allow them to speak their mind even if they disagree with the others’ opinion). This game helps couples get rid of annoying habits in marriage without having nag their partners about it every day .
- What makes you feel most loved? How can I do this more often?
- What bothers me about your [partner’s] family or friends ?
- How do we show our love for each other in public, so people will ask “What’s up with those two?”
- What does the other person need to do in order for us to be able to lie awake together and discuss how our day went?
- Name something (big or small) that you always wanted from a relationship, but have never tried yet with me.
- The 10 Best Things about You – in my opinion. If I asked friends/family members what they would say about the subject of this game they’d probably come up with totally different answers than your partner’s personal views on the matter. The idea is not necessarily literal, but more likely something very positive that sticks out in the mind of your loved one. For example: “I’m smart”, “I argue well”, “I can make people laugh”, “I’m very artistic”.
- What are the most important things in life? (Family, career, children, etc.) How can I make sure that these things remain on top of your priority list – even when everything else is going to pot around us? This game helps couples work out a long -term plan for their lives together. It’s useful for premarital counseling , but also afterwards as well.
- Name three positive characteristics you see in me, two negative ones that drive you crazy , and one thing you’d like to change about me (without being judgmental). You should also name why this bothers you so much. This game helps couples eliminate irritating habits while at the same time avoiding nasty arguments over “little things”. It’s easy to get annoyed at small things if we forget to take the big picture into account .
- Name some characteristics that make me uniquely suited for a long-term relationship with you. In other words, what makes our relationship special? What are my strengths as partner and lover? This game helps couples acknowledge the things they appreciate about each other in their life together. Perhaps it is responsibility, humor or loyalty – whatever it is that defines their partnership.
- The 10 Best Things about You – your top ten qualities regardless of whether they be physical, emotional or something else entirely (i.e. don’t just say #1: “I’m intelligent”, but rather give an example of this). This game is just like the previous one (#29), only that it’s about your partner, not you. Good to be played every once in a while , especially right after welcoming a new child into your life.
- What would we be doing together if money were no object? If we could both remember, how did it feel to be in love? The goal of this game is to rekindle those feelings.
- Give me three compliments that I would never expect from anyone else but you (but they have to be true). This game is a good way of getting couples out of their “comfort zones” and giving them the opportunity to learn about each other’s strengths that are often overlooked or underappreciated .
- When was the last time you really enjoyed spending time with someone? Why do you think that person made such an impression on you? This will help your partner discover traits or passions that might make him/her special to YOU.
- What would our friends say if they could see us now? What would they say we are like together? It’s easy to fall into the habit of considering our friends as a reflection of ourselves, but often times our circle has totally different expectations from us. This game will help you understand your partner through the eyes of others.
- Name some things that have impressed you about me in the past few weeks/months and say what exactly it is that made them so impressive . With this game you can point out what makes your relationship special. #46 In ten years , I hope to be… (In ten years…) This game makes your partner think about his or her hopes and dreams for life after premarital counseling . The idea is to avoid ending up with fantasies that later have to be put on a shelf. This game is excellent for making sure that you have similar visions of the future .
- What was your most embarrassing moment ever? Your partner might reveal traits he or she is not aware of. This is a good way of breaking the ice and getting couples out of their comfort zones.
- When you first looked at me, what made you think; ” he or she might be somebody I’m interested in”? This game helps couples understand how they fell for each other . It creates a sense that they have something to offer beyond physical attraction , which is often based on gut feelings that we may not be able to pinpoint specifically.
- The last time something really awesome happened (i.e. running into an old friend, or having dinner with your parents), describe it as it happened (immediately after the event). This game will help couples remember those fine details that define the “now” moment and keep them present in the experience instead of drifting.
- What am I really good at? (This question should be answered by your partner, not you.) If there are things your partner does that really impresses you , now would be a good time to mention it. It may also make him/her feel encouraged and perhaps even thank you for recognizing his or her strengths .
- Name something we do together that makes me feel better about myself – other than sex! (And don’t say “that’s easy!”: Tell me three examples
- Name 3 things that make me uncomfortable: I’d feel better if you did them differently. This is about understanding and evolving . Like when my wife wants sex earlier than three hours after waking up from sleep (that’s her thing) or when she gets worried over nothing (that being mine). The idea behind this game is actually pretty simple: just keep talking.
Final Thoughts: Premarital Counseling Games
Counseling is all about communication and understanding each other’s perspectives as well as the application of practical solutions to a problem.
Playful activities in counseling helps lessen the tension between couples and increases their communication skills; it is definitely more effective than regular counseling sessions with long discussions, monotonous dialogues and simple advice.
It will be better if you can incorporate such activities into your normal counseling sessions instead of reserving it for special occasions or when things get tough.
Practical Tips:
Plan out fun games and activities that are relevant to your situation but do make sure that they are appropriate, have clear instructions for execution and limit the time allocated for each activity so that participants don’t spend too much time on non-crucial matters. Hope you enjoyed this premarital counseling games, see below the premarital counseling series.
