A lot of couples opt to undergo premarital counseling sessions before getting married. These sessions discuss what marriage means and how it will affect the couple’s lives. Premarital counseling is a great way for you and your partner to talk about all of these questions, get on the same page, and work out any issues that may arise in the future.
In this post, we’ll look at the first premarital counseling session 1: The Meaning of Marriage.
Let’s dive in;
Here are the best resources that go hand in hand with this guide. (Available on Amazon--Start a 30-day free trial here)
- Preparing for Marriage Couples Guide
- Preparing for Marriage Leaders Guide
- The Meaning of Marriage-Timothy Keller
- Devotions for Engaged Couples- Gary Thomas
Not sure where to start with a premarital counseling conversation, start here.
The Meaning of Marriage
The first topic of our counseling sessions is the meaning of marriage. It’s important that we’re all on the same page about what it means to be married, and share a common understanding of this commitment.
Marriage isn’t what you think it is from TV or movies; there are many different interpretations of its meaning, but they all have one thing in common: two people committing themselves to each other as life partners and agreeing to grow together through good times and bad.
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So what does it mean to be married?
The majority of Couples are reading these books:
Marriage Means Sacrifice
First to be married means to sacrifice; you’re committing to another person before God and the world for the rest of your life. Couples who wish to get married must understand that it is not simply a piece of paper or an event, but it is a lifelong commitment that is characterized by sacrifice on a daily basis.
In fact, the Bible says that being married means you “leave” your father and mother to become one with another person (Matthew 19:5). It also refers to marriage as a covenantal relationship between two people rather than just a relationship between two individuals.
So we can conclude that Marriages isn’t just about you; it’s about making another person happy and working together for your mutual benefit. A successful marriage is one in which the two people involved make sacrifices to help their spouse succeed.
Marriage is a reflection of God’s love for the church.
The Bible also says that marriage is intended to be a picture of the relationship between God and His people, which we know as the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33).
It is intended to be a reflection of the love that our Heavenly Father has for His people, and what He did for them through Jesus Christ.
Therefore it comes down to this: marriage isn’t about you, but rather how you can work together with your spouse in order to bring God glory.
Marriage is a commitment.
In keeping with the theme of sacrifice, it is also important to understand that being married means making a serious and committed decision in front of all parties involved—God, your family, friends, etc.—that you’re going to stick by each other no matter what happens for better or worse until death do you part.
This doesn’t just mean that you’re going to stick it out when things aren’t so great; marriage is a commitment in all times and seasons, whether sickness or health.
In fact, the vows of Holy Matrimony say “for better for worse,” which means that if your spouse loses their job, gets sick, goes through financial difficulties, etc. you’re going to be there for them and support them.
If we apply this understanding of marriage to Christ’s relationship with the church, we can see how He gave up everything he had in order to make His bride holy.
Related Post: Ultimate Guide to Writing Perfect Vows
Marriage is a blessing and an honor.
Finally, marriage is intended as a great opportunity for two people—who are meant to become one flesh —to grow together in their relationship with God who strengthens them and sustains them through all of life’s ups and downs.
Remember that marriage is a covenant, which means it is intended to be permanent, not temporary or just for pleasure. It was made by God at the beginning of time as an institution between two people who are meant to live together forever! This type of commitment should never be taken lightly, nor entered into frivolously or for the wrong reasons.
It’s also important to remember that marriage is a gift from God, and He intends it as an honor for those who are willing to make the commitment of self-sacrifice necessary in order to build a successful relationship with their spouse.
If you’re ready to take this step toward building a lasting relationship, then be sure to make every effort to prepare well!
Premarital counseling questions to ask about the meaning of marriage?
- Why are we getting married?
- What is the meaning of marriage?
- How do we build a successful relationship together as husband and wife, rather than two individuals who are simply living in the same house?
- Why should our marriage be permanent?
- What does this mean for us moving forward into the future with each other?
- How can you make me happy long-term vs just temporarily?
- What does this mean for our financial future together?
- How can we best support each other through good and bad times in life, sickness or healthy?
- Where has God shown you that He is working within your relationship with me (or other areas of conflict)? What’s the story behind that and how did it make you feel? How can we work together as a couple to continue living out this reality?
- What’s your definition of marriage, and what does it mean for us going forward into the future with each other?
- How can you make me feel secure long-term vs just temporarily?
- Why is commitment important in our relationship, and how do we show that to each other and our family?
- What does this mean for our spiritual future together?
- How can we best comfort each other through good and bad times in life, sickness or healthy?
- Why is marriage a gift from God, and how do we show that to Him by living out the commitment of self-sacrifice necessary in order to build a successful relationship with our spouse?
- What makes me the right partner for you?
- What does this mean for our spiritual future together?
- Why is commitment important in our relationship, and how do we show that to each other and our family?
- How was your parent’s marriage and how has that influenced your view about marriage?
- Is there something about marriage that you don’t agree with?
These are some great things to consider as you continue with your premarital counseling sessions!