When you ask a premarital counselor the right questions, you will set yourself up for a better experience. If you want to know how to choose a premarital counselor check out this post we did recently here.
Today we focus on the questions you ask the counselor.
Here are the best resources that go hand in hand with this guide. (Available on Amazon- We recommend Kindle as the best way to read books-Start a 30-day free trial here)
- Preparing for Marriage Couples Guide
- Preparing for Marriage Leaders Guide
- The Meaning of Marriage-Timothy Keller
- Devotions for Engaged Couples- Gary Thomas
Not sure where to start with a premarital counseling conversation, start here or start a Happily Ever After Wedding registry, find inspiration & ideas on Amazon.
What should I ask a premarital counselor?
These questions will guide you in finding the right premarital counselor that is a good fit for both of you.
- How long have you been practicing counseling and what is your approach to therapy? What are your main therapeutic goals with clients?
- What is your approach to counseling and how does it work? Can I ask why this particular method works for some people better than others or what makes one person more comfortable with the way they are counseled over another.
- What do you think contributes most to marital problems in our culture today?
- How often might we have sessions, and how long are each session typically?
- Ask questions about where the sessions would take place and if it would include an initial consultation meeting or any advice on what you might discuss in the first counseling session.
- What would be a reasonable number of sessions to attend?
- What are some things that you have learned from your work with couples in therapy, and what do you want them to know before they start meeting with you?
- Ask what their professional fee structure is.
- Do you ask clients to pay a deposit or retainer at the beginning of therapy that would be used for services if they cancel an appointment without prior notice, and how much is it typically?
- How will I know when my insurance might cover sessions with this therapist in whole or part ?
- Ask how many hours per week they are typically available.
- What is your experience in marriage counseling?
- What specific problems do you specialize in?
- How many marriages have you worked on and what was the success rate of those cases?
- Ask about their opinion on the relationship between religion or spirituality and marriage. What is your religious orientation if it would make a difference for me as an individual?
- Ask your premarital counselor what their experience is with couples that have children from previous relationships, or step-children.
- Ask if they ask you to sign a release of confidentiality statement.
- Do you take insurance for payment of sessions? Which insurance companies are accepted by your office to cover my visits with you as a client?
- What is the difference between counseling and therapy, or do you offer both services?
- How many sessions will we have together so I know how much this session will cost me per week or month?
- What are the best ways for me to communicate with you and what do I need to know about your availability if there is an emergency or some other urgent situation, etc.?
- Will you follow up with us after a session if something comes up afterwards that needs to be discussed at another point in time?
- Will you give advice as a counselor sometimes even though one of us doesn’t want your input?
- What is your professional opinion of when a premarital counseling can be over and what will happen once we’re out of therapy together, if anything.
- Is there a session that is a must for every couple?
- If someone cannot afford counseling how much would they need to pay an hour session before insurance covers anything?
- Do you offer online premarital service?
- What are your thoughts on my situation?
- Do you feel that we’re a good fit to work with one another or not and why ?
- Can we come once per month instead of weekly sessions?
Conclusion: What should I ask a premarital counselor?
There are no right or wrong questions to ask. But it’s important that you’re asking the person who is guiding your path through marriage and family life for their opinion on topics like how do they define success when it comes to relationships?
What does intimacy look like for them? How do they think about sex before marriage vs. after being married?
How should I prepare for an appointment with a premarital counselor? Decide what type of information will be most helpful as you make this decision. Be honest with yourself and your partner about any concerns which may affect his/her ability to avoid conflict during our meeting together.
With this guide, we are confident that you will find the right premarital counselor. It’s not a guarantee though so be sure to follow your instinct.
Check out this post on how to choose a premarital counselor.