relationship red flags

21 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore In 2023

Hello and welcome to Honey Let’s Talk. Today, we’re going to go through everything you need to know about relationship red flags, including what they are, examples of red flags in a relationship, and why they are so dangerous and never to be ignored.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about relationships over the years, it’s that they’re never perfect.

There will always be issues between two people no matter how much love exists between them. But sometimes those issues can get so big that they become insurmountable problems and end up destroying the relationship entirely.

That’s why it’s important to look for warning signs early on before things get too serious between you and your partner. Otherwise, it could lead to a painful heartbreak down the road. Not just the heart break but all the effort you put in your relationship will be a waste of time.

So, If you want your relationship to last long term, have the best dating experience or even lead to a happy healthy marriage then make sure you pay attention and read this blog to the end.

What Is a Relationship Red Flag?

Defination of red flags in a relationship.

A red flag is an indication or sign of possible trouble ahead. In a relationship, red flags are warning signs that indicate serious issues in your relationship. They might be signs of an unhealthy toxic relationship, or simply warning signs that the person you’re dating isn’t the right one.

It’s important to pay attention to relationship red flags so that you can make a decision about whether to stay in the relationship or not.

21 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore.

While some relationship red flags can be worked through and eventually resolved, others are serious deal breakers that should never be ignored. Either way, it’s important to be aware of these warning signs so you can make the best decision for your relationship.

If you’re not sure whether a certain type of behavior is a red flag or not, trust your gut instinct and err on the side of caution.

Some of the most common relationship red flags include:

1. Gaslighting as a Relationship Red Flag

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that can be very destructive to a relationship. It occurs when one partner repeatedly tries to undermine the other’s sense of reality, making them question their own memories, perceptions, and even sanity.

Gaslighting is a silent relationship red flag that can be extremely difficult to identify and even harder to deal with. It is important to be aware of the signs so you can protect yourself from being a victim of this type of emotional abuse.

Some common signs of gaslighting include:

  • Your partner regularly denies or contradicts what you know to be true.
  • Your partner tries to control your behavior or actions.
  • Your partner is extremely critical of you.
  • Your partner try to make you feel like you are crazy or overreacting.

2. Breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing is when one partner leads the other on by sending mixed signals. They may give just enough attention to keep you interested, but not enough to fully commit. This can be extremely confusing and frustrating, especially if you are really invested in the relationship.

Some common signs of breadcrumbing include:

  • Your partner only contacts you sporadically.
  • Your partner is hot and cold with their affections.
  • Your partner always seems to be busy when you want to spend time together.

These are just some of the many relationship red flags that you should never ignore. If you notice any of these red flags in your relationship, it is important to address them immediately. Ignoring these warning signs can lead to a toxic and unhealthy relationship.

3. Emotional Abuse is a Big Relationship Red Flag

When it comes to red flags in relationships, emotional abuse is one of the most dangerous. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, if not more so.

Emotional abuse can include verbal abuse, such as name-calling, put-downs, and threats. It can also include emotional manipulation, such as playing mind games, Gaslighting, and controlling behavior.

One of the most harmful aspects of emotional abuse is that it can slowly chip away at your self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

Some common signs of emotional abuse include;

  • Your partner is constantly putting you down.
  • Your partner threatens or openly bullies you.
  • Your partner controls your behavior with threats or ultimatums.
  • Your partner tries to control your emotions by making you feel guilty or ashamed.

If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, it is important to reach out for help. Seek professional help if you are concerned about your relationship.

4. Being Excessively Possessive.

Jealousy is a common emotion, but it becomes problematic when it’s excessive. If your partner is constantly jealous and trying to control who you talk to and what you do, it’s a major red flag.

Common signs of Being excessively possessive include;

  • Checking your phone or email without your permission
  • Going through your things without your permission
  • Asking you to stop talking to certain friends or family members
  • Trying to control what you wear or how you style your hair
  • Telling you who you can and can’t spend time with
  • Getting angry when you don’t answer their calls or texts immediately
  • Making decisions for you without consulting you first
  • Gaslighting you or making you question your own reality
  • Threatening to hurt you, themselves, or others if

If you see these signs in your relationship, you need to take action. If your partner is truly possessive, they will not be happy unless they are in complete control of you.

5. Constantly Needing Validation From Their Partner.

A partner who is always seeking validation from their significant other is a huge red flag. This person is clearly insecure and will likely never be satisfied, no matter how much their partner does for them. This kind of behavior usually indicates that the person has deep-seated insecurity and self-esteem issues that will not be resolved easily.

Some common signs of this include;

  • always needing compliments
  • fishing for compliments
  • obsessively checking their partner’s phone
  • becoming jealous easily
  • constantly needing reassurance
  • putting their partner on a pedestal.

If your partner is always needing validation from you, it’s time to have a serious discussion about what’s going on and why they feel this way.

6. Displaying Constant Anger or Irritability.

One of the most prominent relationship red flags is uncontrolled anger. If your partner is constantly angry or easily irritated, it could be a sign that they’re struggling to control their emotions. Though being angry in itself is not bad what’s bad is how your partner deals with anger.

Common signs of uncontrolled anger include;

  • Explosive anger
  • Lashing out in anger over minor disagreements or incidents.
  • Door slamming
  • Throwing things
  • Breaking things
  • Physical violence.

This can be dangerous in a relationship as it can lead to explosive arguments, conflict or physical abuse. If you’re noticing that your partner’s anger is impacting your own wellbeing, see a professional immediately.

7. Manipulation.

It’s a relationship red flag that can be easy to miss in the early stages, but it’s one you should never ignore.

What is manipulation, exactly? It’s a way of controlling someone by using emotional manipulation tactics to make them feel guilty, ashamed, or obliged to do what you want.

  • It might sound something like this: “If you loved me, you would do X for me.” Or, “I can’t believe you’re not going to help me with this. I thought you cared about me.”

 If your partner frequently makes you feel guilty, or uses threats to get what they want, they may be manipulative.

8. Excessive love of Money.

Money in itself is not evil it’s the love of it and especially excessively that can ruin your relationship. If your partner is obsessed on making money more than even speeding time with you then it’s a huge red flag. This type of greed can often tear couples apart as one will always feel neglected and unimportant.

Signs that your partner is greedy;

  • They are never content with what they have and are always trying to get more.
  • You feel like you are always second best to their money and their career.
  • They are never happy unless they are making a lot of money.

If you see any of these signs in your partner then it’s time to have a serious discussion about money and what it means to your relationship. Money should never come before your relationship, if it does then it’s time to walk away.

9. Constant Nitpicking.

We’ve all been there. You’re in a relationship and things are going great. But then, out of nowhere, your partner starts nitpicking everything you do. They find fault with every little thing, no matter how minor.

Common nitpicking behaviors include;

  • criticizing your clothes, hairstyle, or appearance
  • finding fault with the way you do things
  • pointing out your flaws and shortcomings
  • there is nothing you do that makes sense to them.

This can be extremely frustrating, especially if you feel like you’re doing everything you can to please your partner. But the truth is, this behavior is often a sign that your partner is feeling insecure in the relationship.

10. Not Being Able to Let Go of the Past.

It’s one thing to learn from past relationship mistakes, but it’s another thing altogether to be unable to move on. If your partner is still dwelling on past relationship hurts, it’s a major red flag.

Signs your partner is still thinking about their past;

  • Constantly bring up their ex
  • Talk about what went wrong in their last relationship
  • Compare you to their ex
  • Always blaming their ex

This can be a sign that they’re not over their ex, or that they’re unwilling to forgive and move on. Either way, it’s not healthy.

Age Gap Relationship Red Flags.

Age differences in relationships are nothing new. There are plenty of examples of older men dating younger women, and the reverse is also true. Age gap relationships can be great, but they can also be a toxic. Here are five red flags associated with age gap relationships.


Age gap relationships can sometimes be one-sided, with one person being significantly older or younger than the other. This can lead to an imbalanced power dynamic, which can be unhealthy.

Different life stages

Another issue that can arise from age differences is that people in age gap relationships are often at different stages in their lives. This can make it difficult to relate to each other and can create tension.


Different ages can also bring different expectations to a relationship. For instance, an older person may be looking for something more serious, while a younger person may be more carefree.


Age gap relationships can also be fertile ground for jealousy. The older person may feel threatened by the younger person’s attractiveness or may be worried that they will eventually leave them for someone their own age.

Societal pressure

Lastly, age gap relationships can often be met with judgement from others. People may think that the relationship is based on superficial things like money or looks, rather than true love.

5 long distance relationship red flags.

When you’re in a long distance relationship, it can be difficult to know when things are going well and when there are potential problems. Here are five red flags that may indicate trouble in your long distance relationship:

1. Lack of Communication

If you and your partner are not communicating regularly, it may be a sign that your interested in your life or what you have to say, it may be a sign that the relationship is not as important to them as it is to you.

2. Lack of effort:

If one or both partners stop making an effort to spend time together or make plans for the future, it may be a sign that the relationship is no longer a priority.

3. Constant fight that are left unresolved

Couples who are constantly arguing are often not able to resolve their differences and may eventually decide to end the relationship. This is a huge red flag and should not be ignored.

4. Trust issues:

If there are trust issues in your relationship, it may be difficult to sustain a long distance relationship. If you suspect that your partner is cheating on you or keeping secrets from you, it may be time to consider ending the relationship.

5. Lack of Willingness to Sacrifice.

One of the key indicators of a lack of commitment in a relationship is a lack of willingness to sacrifice. If your partner is unwilling to make any sacrifices for you or for the relationship, it may be a red flag that they’re not fully invested.

This can be especially problematic in a long distance relationship, where making time and effort to see each other can be difficult. If your partner consistently makes excuses or cancels plans to visit, it’s a red flag that they may not be as committed as you’d like them to be.

Christian Relationship Red Flags

Christian Relationships are hard. There’s a lot of pressure on people in relationships, and it can be stressful both for the people involved and for those who might be trying to watch from the sidelines. There are also a lot of expectations about how relationships should be.

Here are 5 signs of toxic behaviors that are considered red flags in a Christian relationship.

  1.  One person is always prioritizing their own needs over those of the other person.
  2. There is a lot of resentment or anger in the relationship.
  3. There are secrets or lies in the relationship that prevent intimate communication.
  4. One partner feels neglected and feels small and worthless.
  5. One partner doesn’t care about their relationship with God.

New Relationship Red Flags.

When you’re in a new relationship, it’s important to be aware of any red flags that could signal trouble ahead. While not every red flag is a deal breaker, it’s important to pay attention to these warning signs and never ignore them.

Here are four red flags to watch out for in new relationships:

One person is always taking control. 

If your partner is always making decisions for both of you or always telling you what to do, it’s a sign that they’re trying to control the relationship. This can be dangerous and lead to resentment down the road.

There’s a lot of drama.

 If your partner is constantly fighting with others or creating chaos wherever they go, it’s probably not a healthy relationship. Drama isn’t good for anyone involved and is often a sign of bigger problems down the road.

Feeling Like You’re Always “Walking on Eggshells”

When you feel like you’re always “walking on eggshells” that is a serious red flag. If you’re constantly worried about what you say or do around your partner, then this is a sign that they are manipulative and controlling. 

If your partner routinely puts you down, makes you feel guilty, or threatens you, then these are all warning signs that the relationship is not safe.

Unrealistic Speed

Unrealistic speed – moving too fast emotionally or physically is a serious red flag. If your partner is pushing for an exclusive relationship before you’re ready, or is trying to move too quickly physically, this could be a sign of trouble ahead.

Making Excuses for Your Partner’s Behavior.

 If you find yourself constantly making excuses for your partner’s bad behavior, it’s a sign that things aren’t right. No one is perfect, but if your partner is regularly doing things that bother you, they need to be addressed.

 If you see any of these red flags in your new relationship, it’s important to take a step back and evaluate whether this is someone you want to continue dating.

First Date Relationship Red Flags

You’re excited for your first date with someone you met online. You’ve talked for hours on end, shared intimate stories, and now you’re finally going to meet in person. As the date draws nearer, you start to feel a little anxious. What if he’s not what I expected? What if I don’t like him? These doubts are normal, but before your date arrives, there are a few red flags to watch out for.

  • If your date is late
  • rude to the waitstaff
  • Makes negative comments about others

These could be signs of bigger issues down the road. If your date can’t seem to stop talking about themselves or is pushy about physical contact, it might be time to end things before they even begin.

Even if your date seems perfect on the surface, always trust your gut instinct.

Online Dating Relationship Red Flags

The internet has forever changed the way people date, meet, and interact. While online dating can be a great way to meet new people, it can also be a breeding ground for scammers and catfishers.

Here are some red flags to watch out for when using online dating sites:

  • They seem too good to be true. If someone is claiming to be a millionaire, but has no pictures or information on their profile, they might be trying to scam you.
  • They’re always asking for money. If someone you’ve barely spoken to starts asking for money, it’s probably a scam. Legitimate online daters don’t need your bank account details right away!
  • They won’t meet in person. If the person you’re talking to is always making excuses about why they can’t meet up, it’s probably because they’re not who they say they are.
  • Their grammar and spelling are bad.
  • Beware of anyone who quickly wants to move the conversation off the dating site and onto personal email or phone conversations. This could be a sign that they’re trying to scam you.

Relationship Red Flags That Are Deal Breakers

Everyone has different relationship red flags that are deal breakers. However, there are some red flags that are common among people. These include violence, cheating, and public humiliation.

  • If your partner is violent, it is a major red flag. Violence is never acceptable, and it can be very dangerous. If your partner has ever hurt you physically or threatened you, it is time to end the relationship.
  • Another big red flag is if your partner cheats on you. Cheating can be extremely damaging and can ruin trust between partners. If your partner has cheated on you in the past, or if you have caught them cheating, it is time to end the relationship.
  • Public humiliation is also a major deal breaker for many people.

Social Media Relationship Red Flags

In the world of online dating, social media can be both your best friend and worst enemy. When used correctly, social media can be a great way to flirt with potential dates, but when used incorrectly, it can lead to disaster. Here are 5 social media relationship red flags to watch out for:

  1. Using social media to flirt with other people. If you’re using social media to flirt with other people, it’s a sign that you’re not fully committed to your current relationship.
  2. Ghosting. Ghosting is when someone disappears from your life without any explanation. If your partner suddenly disappears from your life without any explanation, it could be a sign that they’re no longer interested in you
  3. Spending too much time online: If you’re spending more time on social media than you are with your partner, there’s a problem. Social media can be addictive, and it’s easy to get lost in the never-ending cycle of posts, notifications and timelines.
  4. Posting about your fights on social media. This is a big no-no. Not only does it make you look bad, but it also makes your fight public. Plus, your friends and family will likely be tired of hearing about your relationship drama.
  5. Deleting all traces of you from their social media. If you’re deleting posts or photos that feature your partner, it could be a sign that you’re trying to hide them from the world. This could be a sign of mistrust or insecurity in the relationship.

While social media can be a great way to stay connected with friends and family, it can also be a breeding ground for relationship drama.

Dating Red Flags Checklist

When you start dating someone, it’s important to be aware of red flags that could mean the person is not right for you.But how to you check, here’s a simple checklist; 

  1. Is the person always on time? If the person is chronically late, it could be a sign that they’re not respectful of your time. 
  2. How does the person treat others? If the person is disrespectful to waiters, clerks, or anyone else, this could be a sign of disrespect and poor character
  3. Does the person have good manners? If the person doesn’t say “please” and “thank you,” or if they’re rude to service people, it’s a bad sign. 
  4.  How well does the person handle stress and adversity?
  5.  If your date exhibits aggressive or controlling behavior, this could be a sign of future problems in the relationship.

What to Do When You See This Relationship Redflags

When you see redflags in a relationship, it is important to seek help. This can mean talking to a friend, family member, or therapist. If the behavior is ongoing and makes you feel unsafe, it is important to reach out to a professional who can help.

Oftentimes, redflags are signs of an abusive relationship. If you are feeling unsafe or like you are in danger, please reach out for help.

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FAQs on Relationship Red Flags

Are Red Flags the Same as Flaws?

Red flags are not always the same as flaws. Red flags are warning signs that something may be wrong in a relationship, while flaws are specific characteristics or habits that may cause problems. However, some red flags may also be considered flaws, such as being chronically late or not being able to commit.

Can You Fix Red Flags in a Relationship

Yes, you can fix red flags in a relationship. However, it takes work and both partners need to be willing to address the issues. Some simple ways to fix red flags is by talking about them and seeing a professional relationship counsellor.

How Do You to Tell Red Flags in a Relationship

There are a few key things to look out for when trying to determine whether or not a relationship is healthy. If your partner is constantly putting you down, making you feel bad about yourself, or is always critical, that’s definitely a red flag. Another sign of an unhealthy relationship is if your partner is always trying to control you, either through threats, intimidation, or manipulation.

Do All Relationship Have Redflags?

No, not all relationships have red flags. However, every relationship has its challenges. It’s important to be aware of any potential red flags before getting too invested in a relationship.  Some common redflags include emotional or physical abuse, constant fighting, or a partner who is manipulative or controlling. If you are experiencing any of these things in your relationship, it is important to seek help from a trusted friend or family member, or from a professional.

Do not use the information in this guide to substitute for medical treatment. Talk to a health professional before taking any action. does not provide medical advice and should not be used to substitute any advice from a professional doctor.