why open relationship don't work

Why Open Relationships Don’t Work

Hey there, lovebirds! Have you ever heard of open relationships? You know, the kind where you and your partner agree to see other people too? While it might sound like an exciting adventure for some, the truth is, open relationships aren’t a one-size-fits-all solution to romance.

In fact, they might not work for everyone. So, buckle up and get ready for some real talk as we dive into the not-so-sweet side of swinging. But remember, every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple might not work for another. Here is the 8 stages of relationships and also some truth about the longevity of most relationships.

So let’s explore the reasons why open relationships might not be everyone’s cup of tea.

1. Jealousy: The Green-Eyed Monster

Ah, jealousy! The green-eyed monster can be a sneaky little creature, especially in open relationships. You might think you’re cool as a cucumber, but when you see your partner sharing laughs, cuddles, or smooches with someone else, that pesky jealousy bug might just bite you.

Let’s say your partner goes on a date with someone new, and they come back gushing about the amazing time they had. You might feel a twinge of envy, wondering if your recent dates with your partner were as thrilling. Or maybe you see a photo of your partner and their new flame looking super cozy together, and suddenly, you’re comparing yourself to that person. Ouch! This is the reason open relationships don t work.

Jealousy in open relationships is super common, and it can make things pretty rocky. But don’t lose hope! There are ways to manage jealousy, like talking openly with your partner about your feelings, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion.

Just remember, jealousy is a normal human emotion, and it’s okay to feel it. The key is to address it head-on and work together to find a solution that keeps everyone happy.

2. Trust: Hard to Build, Easy to Break

While jealousy can be a major challenge in open relationships, it’s not the only hurdle couples might face. Another super important ingredient for a healthy relationship is trust, and when it comes to open relationships, trust can be a bit of a tightrope walk. Let’s see why!

Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, and in open relationships, it’s extra important. With multiple partners in the mix, it can be tough to maintain that rock-solid trust that keeps everyone feeling secure and loved.

For example, imagine your partner is spending the night with someone else, and they promise to text you when they get home. But, oops! They forget, and you’re left worrying all night. That tiny slip-up might chip away at your trust, and over time, those little chips can add up to big cracks in your relationship. This will make the open relationship difficult and eventually it won’t work.

Building and maintaining trust in open relationships can be a challenge, but it’s not impossible. Communication is key! Make sure you and your partner(s) are open and honest about your feelings, boundaries, and experiences.

Regular check-ins can help ensure everyone’s on the same page and feeling secure in their connections.

Now that we’ve talked about trust, let’s dive into another crucial element of open relationships.

3. Communication: Talk It Out (Or Not)

Navigating the communication challenges that can arise in open relationships can be like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces.

Here are some common issues couples might face:

  • Mixed messages: Misunderstandings can happen easily when you’re juggling multiple relationships. Did your partner say they were seeing someone new on Friday or Saturday? Oops, looks like you both double-booked!
  • Overwhelm: With so many feelings and experiences to share, it’s easy for conversations to become overwhelming. Finding the right balance between sharing and overloading your partner with information is key.
  • Avoidance: Sometimes, talking about the hard stuff is, well, hard! It might be tempting to avoid discussing tough topics, like jealousy or boundaries, but avoiding those conversations can lead to bigger problems down the road. This is the number one reason why open relationships don’t work.

To tackle these communication challenges, try these strategies:

  • Schedule regular check-ins: Set aside time to talk openly and honestly about your feelings, experiences, and any concerns you might have.
  • Be clear and specific: When discussing plans or boundaries, make sure you’re both on the same page by using clear, specific language.
  • Listen and empathize: Remember, communication is a two-way street. Make an effort to listen to your partner(s) and show empathy for their experiences and feelings.

With a little practice and patience, you can strengthen your communication skills and help your open relationship thrive.

As we’ve seen, communication plays a huge role in the success of open relationships. But even with the best communication skills, there’s still a risk of emotional disconnection. So let’s take a closer look at how open relationships might lead to partners drifting apart, and don’t worry, we’ll also explore some ways to stay connected!

4. Emotional Disconnection: Drifting Apart

In open relationships, it’s possible for partners to experience emotional disconnection, which can put a damper on that loving feeling.

Here are some reasons why this might happen:

  • Divided attention: With multiple partners to care for, it can be tough to give everyone the emotional attention they need.
  • Different emotional needs: Each partner might have unique emotional needs that are difficult to meet simultaneously.
  • Lack of quality time: Juggling multiple relationships can mean less quality time to nurture the primary connection.

But fear not! There are ways to maintain that emotional bond, even when exploring open relationships:

  • Prioritize quality time: Schedule regular date nights or special moments with your primary partner to keep that emotional connection strong.
  • Check in on emotional needs: Make sure to regularly discuss your emotional needs with each other, and address any concerns or changes.
  • Create shared experiences: Find activities or hobbies that you both enjoy and can share, helping to strengthen your bond.

Now that we’ve discussed ways to stay emotionally connected, it’s time to tackle a different challenge in open relationships: unequal desires. You know, when one partner is more into the open thing than the other. Up next, we’ll explore how to navigate this potentially bumpy terrain!

We’ve just explored the importance of emotional connection, but what happens when there’s an imbalance in desires within an open relationship? That’s right, unequal desires can be quite the pickle! Let’s dive into this tricky situation and see how couples can address it.

5. Unequal Desires: Balancing Acts

In open relationships, it’s not uncommon for one partner to be more enthusiastic about the arrangement than the other. This can lead to some challenges, like:

  • Feeling pressured: The less enthusiastic partner might feel pressured to participate, even if they’re not entirely comfortable.
  • Resentment: Over time, the less interested partner may start to resent the other for pushing them into an open relationship.
  • Incompatibility: Sometimes, differences in desires might signal a deeper incompatibility between partners, making it hard to find common ground.

But don’t worry! There are ways to navigate this delicate dance and find balance:

  • Open dialogue: Talk openly about your feelings and desires, and work together to find a solution that satisfies both partners.
  • Compromise: Find a middle ground that allows both partners to explore their desires while still feeling secure in the relationship.
  • Re-evaluate: Periodically check in with each other to reassess your desires and make adjustments as needed.

Alrighty, now that we’ve tackled the issue of unequal desires, it’s time to discuss another challenge in open relationships: time management. Yup, juggling multiple partners can be quite the circus act!

6. Time Management: Juggling Love Lives

Managing time in open relationships can feel like trying to catch butterflies while riding a unicycle. Here are some common challenges couples might encounter:

  • Overbooking: With so many dates and social events, it’s easy to accidentally double-book or forget about a prior commitment.
  • Neglecting primary relationship: Focusing too much on new partners can sometimes lead to neglecting the primary relationship, causing hurt feelings.
  • Burnout: Balancing multiple relationships takes a lot of energy and can lead to emotional and physical exhaustion.

But fear not, love jugglers! There are ways to keep all those balls in the air:

  • Shared calendar: Use a shared calendar to keep track of everyone’s plans, ensuring no one is left out or forgotten.
  • Prioritize primary relationship: Make sure to set aside dedicated time for your primary partner to nurture your connection.
  • Self-care: Don’t forget to take care of yourself! Schedule in some downtime to recharge your batteries and stay emotionally healthy.

Just as we’ve discussed the challenges of managing time and unequal desires in open relationships, societal norms can also put pressure on couples exploring non-monogamy.

7. Societal Pressure: Dealing with the Naysayers

When it comes to non-monogamy, societal norms and expectations can be a major source of pressure and judgment. Here are some common ways that couples might experience societal pressure:

  • Stigma and judgment: People who practice non-monogamy are often stigmatized and judged by others who view it as morally wrong or socially unacceptable.
  • Invisibility: Non-monogamous relationships are often hidden due to the fear of judgment, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
  • Lack of support: Due to the lack of representation and understanding, finding support from others can be challenging.

Here are some ways to cope with societal pressure:

  • Connect with others: Seek out support from like-minded communities, both online and in-person, to feel less alone and find validation.
  • Educate: Take the opportunity to educate others on the benefits and realities of non-monogamous relationships, dispelling myths and reducing stigma.
  • Be true to yourself: Don’t let societal pressure dictate your relationship choices. Stay true to yourself and your desires, and don’t feel ashamed of pursuing non-monogamy if it’s right for you.

8. Risky Business: STIs and Safety Open relationships can increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) due to the potential for multiple partners. In fact, research has found that people in open relationships are more likely to have STIs than people in monogamous relationships.

It’s important for people in open relationships to prioritize safety and take steps to prevent the spread of STIs. This can include getting tested regularly, using condoms and other barrier methods, and being honest with partners about one’s STI status.

Additionally, people in open relationships should be aware of the potential risks associated with each partner’s sexual behavior and discuss their expectations for safe sex practices before engaging in any sexual activity. Being proactive about safety can help prevent the spread of STIs and maintain a healthy relationship.

Remember, safety is sexy! Stay safe and healthy, friends.

9. Complicated Rules: A Relationship Rulebook

Open relationships often come with a set of rules that need to be followed in order to maintain the dynamic. However, the sheer number of rules can make things complicated and challenging to follow.

This can be especially true if rules are constantly changing or if they are unclear.

According to a study published in Journal of Sex Research, individuals in open relationships reported more complex and ambiguous rules than individuals in monogamous relationships. The study also found that unclear rules led to greater dissatisfaction with the relationship and decreased satisfaction with sex life.

If you’re considering an open relationship, it’s important to set clear, concise rules with your partner that both of you can follow. Don’t hesitate to revisit and adjust these rules over time as your relationship evolves. Remember, communication is key!


10. Uncertainty: Navigating the Unknown

With all of the challenges that come with open relationships, it’s not surprising that uncertainty can also be a major issue that cause open relationship not to work. After all, exploring a new way of being in a relationship can be scary, especially when you’re not sure where it might lead.

This uncertainty can cause anxiety and stress for both partners, and it can be difficult to know how to move forward when you don’t know what the future holds. However, there are some things you can do to manage this uncertainty and embrace change:

  • Communicate openly: Talk to your partner about your fears and concerns. It’s important to be honest with each other about what you’re feeling so you can work together to find solutions.
  • Take things one day at a time: Don’t worry too much about what might happen in the future. Instead, focus on the present moment and enjoy the journey.
  • Be flexible: Open relationships can be unpredictable, so it’s important to be flexible and open to change. Don’t be afraid to try new things and adjust your approach as needed.
  • Remember why you started: When things get tough, it can be helpful to remind yourself why you and your partner decided to explore open relationships in the first place. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and remember the love and connection you share.

Ultimately, managing uncertainty is about embracing change and trusting in yourself and your partner. With the right mindset and approach, you can navigate the unknown and create a fulfilling and meaningful relationship.

Final Thoughts On Why Open Relationship don’t work

In conclusion, open relationships are not for everyone, and they can come with many challenges. Jealousy, lack of trust, communication breakdown, and emotional disconnection are just a few of the many issues that make open relationship not to work. While some people may choose to engage in open relationships, it’s important to be aware of the potential risks and challenges that come with this choice.

At Honey Let’s Talk, we believe that strong communication, trust, and emotional connection are key components of healthy relationships. As a Christian organization, we do not recommend open relationships as they go against our beliefs. We encourage individuals to explore other ways of strengthening their relationships and fostering deeper connections with their partners.

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